Short jokes
What's a pedophile's favorite place to go in?
Kum and Go.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
To get to the other side.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
The chicken.
What do you call Helen Keller in a pitch black, sound proof room?
Unnecessary.
Stephen Hawking walks into a b... nevermind.
Feminism.
So, you wanna hear a joke about the wall?
... Actually, nah, you won't get over it.
My girlfriend keeps calling me a pedophile. That's a big word for a seven year old.
Who make hard candy for the kids?
Solve.
When a man sleeps with a lot of women, he's called a stud. When a woman sleeps with a lot of men, she's called your mum.
How is spinach like anal sex?
If you were forced to have it as a child, you probably won't like it as an adult.
Me: Hey, what book are you reading?
Him: "The Twisted Ones."
Me: Uh, I guess that book is pretty twisted.
Girls are like math; if they're under ten, then you use your fingers.
I can't handle these puns...
But I can HAND you some puns!
Budum tiss!
I wank over Rose Watson.
What kind of cigarettes does a hippie smoke?
Yours.
How do you know a hippie is on her period?
Her socks are missing.
How do you know she's off?
Her socks are tye-dye.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
How do you confuse a ginger?
Throw a cross at them.
Why did the blonde run outside naked?
She thought the steam was a gas leak.
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It doesn't matter, he's dead.