Short jokes
What’s red, nine inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry every time she sees it?
Her abortion.
That joke and paper have one thing in common: they're both tearable.
What's a person in a wheelchair's favorite sport?
Jousting.
Why did the baseball player get arrested? He tried to steal third.
What do you call a load of retards in a swimming pool?
Vegetable soup.
What do you call a blind author?
A Braille writer.
Davin is a pedo.
What do you call a club that owls go to?
Hooters.
Person: I'd really like it if you'd stop saying my name all the time.
Random Person: Cheesus! That hurt!
Person: SERIOUSLY!?!?
What did the boy say to the girl? "Damn! You pissy, stank!"
What did the dalmatian dog say after he finished his meal?
"That hit the spot?"
What's the difference between depression and a girl?
XXXTentacion can't seem to beat depression.
How do you know you're following a DeLorean? The white line disappears.
Why did the chicken cross the road? Who gives a shit? I wanna know how it got the car started!
What does Stephen Hawking have in common with a bull? They both charge.
Why did Vladimir Putin get bad grades? -- Because he was Russian.
I have good faith in the glue police. They usually stick to their word.
I saw a bicycler flip over a gutter. It was pretty grate.
What do dairy products praise? Cheeseus.
What is a pirate's favorite letter? You might think it’s the "R," but it’s actually the "C".