Short jokes
I have a trombone.
When I'm sad, I cut myself...A PIECE OF CAKE!
I opened a company selling landmines disguised as prayer mats. Prophets are going through the roof.
The only thing I do straight is vodka.
Lorne Armstrong
What's the difference between a baby and a tire swing?
A tire swing doesn't die when you hang it from a tree.
I impaled my son with a pitchfork...
He looks very sharp.
My cock was in the book of world records...
The librarian told me to take it out.
Why do ducks have feathers?
To cover their butt-quack.
What do you call an Italian with an anesthetic?
Ruberto
A man sacrificed children who played Roblox, so when someone knocked on the door, they said, "An administrator has banned you from heaven!"
Kid: But, Mom, I don't want to see Grandma.
Mom: Shut up and keep digging.
What's the difference between a school and an ISIS military base? Don't ask me, I only fly the drone.
Why did they invent glow-in-the-dark condoms? So gay guys can play Star Wars.
A Muslim enters a building...
Along with 500 passengers and an airplane.
What's a delinquent mitten's favorite sport?
Badminton.
Sans: Wow, seems you’re really working yourself... down to the bone!
Why does Stephen Hawking always say he's got so many bitches?
Because he is never around Siri.
A doctor fell into a well and broke his collarbone.
The doctor should attend the sick and leave the well alone!
Why did the octopus cross the road?
Who knows and who cares?