Short jokes
What did the white girl say to the black girl?
"Where's the back?"
You know every time we think of sex, an angel dies.
We ran out of dead people hundreds of years ago.
What do you call a cheap circumcision?
A rip off.
Paedophiles are f***ing immature assholes.
How do you make a dead baby float?
1 cup rootbeer 2 scoops dead baby.
Why can North Korea draw a straight line? Because they've got a supreme ruler.
What will Donald Trump build in our devices?
A firewall.
What did the penis say to the condom?
"Cover me, I'm going in!"
Why was the Milky Way remembered...
Because it's... DELICIOUS!
Why can't two Chinese people have a white baby? Because "two wongs don't make a white."
I'm gay, lol.
I rolled over a log and underneath was a tiny little stick, and I was like, "That log had a child!"
What's the definition of total chaos?
A bus load of retards passing a magnet factory.
What's thick, 12 inches, and in your mum's throat?
My penis.
Why do sumo wrestlers shave their legs?
Because they don't want to be mistaken as feminists.
So I was making slime, so I put glue, and a lil' pump of lotion and slime activator. Ahah, lil pump, get it?
If you want any pictures of cheese for your laptop, I've got enough to Philadelphia.
What is a failed abortion? Annabelle.
What do you call a pizza?
Anthony Cahill's face!
Last week I told my psychiatrist, "I keep thinking about suicide," and he told me from now on I have to pay in advance.