Short jokes
What is worse: 10 babies stapled to 1 tree, or 1 baby stapled to ten trees?
My daughter said I could never make a car out of spaghetti. You should have seen the look on her face when I drove pasta!
My German girlfriend likes to rate our sex between 1-10.
Last night we tried anal, she kept shouting 9!
That's the best I've done so far.
I ate a time machine once, it was very time-consuming. Especially when I went back four seconds.
How do you stay warm in a cold room?
You go to the corners. It's always 90 degrees.
When you see a deer, what do you say?
"Oh deer!"
What is the similarity between a joke and food?
Some people just don't get them!
Whenever I see a dog video, I just take a second to press paws.
Jason: Did you hear about the storm-trooper who attempted suicide?
Dave: No.
Jason: Well, he hit his first target.
Q: Why did the teacher die?
A: Because he hated his life.
What do you do when life gives you lemons? Slit your wrist and give a lemon a twist. 🙂💊💉
All you need is a razor blade in life.
What is the difference between a Rubik’s cube and a penis? I don’t know, but they both get harder the more you play with them.
You people are sick!!!!!!!!!!!!!! None of these are funny. Sick sick sick!!!!!!!
What do you call a person with Down syndrome who graduated high school?
Impossible!
I put the sexy in dyslexia.
What did the car say when it crashed? That's wheely unfortunate!
What happened to the man who made too many bad jokes? He served out a cruel and unusual PUNishment.
Thor is so gay he farts the rainbow bridge to Asgard.
A friend was doing bird puns on me. Then I realized that toucan play at that game.