Short jokes
What do you call a man with no legs?
Neil (kneel)
What do you call a squirrel with wings? A flying squirrel, it's pretty self-explanatory.
I know you don’t like rape jokes, but I’m gonna force one on you anyway.
What do you call a fat Chinese man?
A double chinkey.
What do you do when your dishwasher stops working?
Hit your wife harder.
My friend: "Ya mama so stupid, she sits on the TV and watches the couch!"
Me: "That joke's older than your mom!"
Dick.
Why was 6 scared of 7?
Answer: Because 7 8 9.
How to make time fly?
Answer: Throw a clock out of the window.
Knock knock!
Who's there?
Doctor.
Doctor who?
So many of these jokes are unoriginal, and you guys need to step up your game.
Make like a drum and beat it!
Q: Why didn’t Santa eat the milk and cookies you set out for him?
A: He doesn’t exist, you childish sh**!
One time there was a squirrel who died.
It was funny because the squirrel got dead.
Timmy goes to the doctor and says, "There's a crack in my butt, doctor." Timmy, there is a crack in everyone's butt, see?
What's great about having sex with twenty-eight year olds?
There's ate of them.
My wife was going to have an abortion and I have cancer.
Ha Ha Ha
I thought it was funny.
Why was the staircase so sad?
Because everyone walks on them.
What did your mom get for Christmas?
A big black horse dildo.
9/11.