Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.
Inheritance Jokes
What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.
What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?
His life insurance...
I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.
Why can't orphans be gay?
They have no one to call daddy.
A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."
I have no father. Like if you relate.
What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.
I will always remember my grandpa's last words. "Shit, the ladder is falling!"
I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.
One man's trash is another man's treasure.
Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.
My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.
Q.) What do you call an orphan's family tree?
A.) A family stump.
My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."
Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."
Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"
Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."
Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."
Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."
My last thought: Am I a murderer?
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
What happened when the man died? Yes.
Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.
What is my favorite thing about my grandpa?
His life insurance.
What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?
"My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."
