Inheritance Jokes

Why can't orphans work at S.C. Johnson? Cause it's a family company.

What do you call an orphan's family tree? A stump.

What's My Favorite Thing About My Grandpa?

His life insurance...

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.

Why can't orphans be gay.

They have no one to call daddy

i have no father. like if you relate

What person can't work at a family business? An orphan.

I will always remember my grandpa's last words. SHIT, THE LADDER IS FALLING!

I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

One man’s trash is another man’s treasure. Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.

My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said "I inherited a watering hole." Bewildered I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?" "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

My last thought: Am I a murderer?

What happened when the man died: yes

What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents? My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that son.

When I finished high school, I wanted to take my graduation money and buy myself a motorcycle, but my mom said no. See, she had a brother who died in a horrible motorcycle accident when he was eighteen. And I could just have his motorcycle.