Inheritance

Inheritance Jokes

Body Part

I have the heart of my mom, the face of my dad, the eyes of my grandpa, the ears of my grandma, and the hair of my uncle. We don't look anything alike; I just collect body parts.

Grandfather

A grandfather is on his rocking chair. His grandson comes to him and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds with a "no". His granddaughter then comes along and asks him to croak, to which the grandfather responds, "Why do you keep asking me to croak?" The granddaughter replies, "Because Dad says if you do, we get to go to Disneyland."

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  • DNA

    I found out what DNA stands for. It's the National Dyslexic's Association.

    Adoption

    One man's trash is another man's treasure.

    Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out you were adopted.

    Organ Donor

    My grandma refused to be an organ donor. She was buried with all her musical instruments.

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  • Grandpa

    My late grandpa was always popular with women. One day, before he died, I asked him what his secret was. He said, "I inherited a watering hole."

    Bewildered, I replied, "What does that have to do with anything?"

    "I could easily get anyone wet because I was well endowed."

    Grandfather

    Grandfather's last words: "Stop shaking the ladder, you cunt!"

    Grandmother's last words: "You know how to use that hammer."

    Dad's last words: "Always aim before you shoot that gun."

    Mom's last words: "Turn off the stove when you're done."

    My last thought: Am I a murderer?

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  • Diarrhea

    Do you know how diarrhea is common in families? Because it runs in your genes.

    Money

    What's the last thing Asians hear from their parents?

    "My money is my money. Your money is my money. Your wife's money is my money. Always remember that, son."