Short jokes
What do you call Holly and Elenji?
A couple.
What do you call a chill transgender?
Fictional.
What does milk and a kid with cancer have in common?
An expiration date.
Why can't Helen Keller drive? Because she's a woman... no other reasons besides that.
Wanna hear a clean one?
Old man takes a bath with bubbles.
Wanna hear a dirty one?
Bubbles is the 14 year old next door.
Q. What do you get if you put hot water down a rabbit hole?
A. Hot cross bunnies!
What's terrible? Three dead babies nailed to one tree.
What's worse than that? One dead baby nailed to three trees.
Freshman: Hey, what's better, Ford or Chevy?
Senior: I don't f**kin' care as long as it drives.
Freshman: So, I'm guessing it's Chevy?
What’s the difference between a Canadian and a unicorn?
Nothing, they’re both mythical creatures.
What’s the difference between an Englishman and a unicorn?
Nothing.
How do you sink an American battleship?
Have the French build it.
What do you call a sophisticated American?
A Canadian.
What does the donkey say to the other donkey?:
Nothing, donkeys don't talk.
The only reason Stephen Hawking died is because he broke his charger.
If Stephen Hawking was in a horror movie, would he make his robot try and shout, "Aaaaaaaah! Help me, I can't move! I'm too scared!"?
How many apps did he download?
Well, he did run out of storage.
No one wanted to hear my ocean puns, they said they were too fishy.
What time are most dentist appointments? Tooth hurty.
My shirt is only red when I think about sex.
3/7 of a chicken, 2/3 cat, 1/2 goat. What do you get when you cross those?
Answer: Chi-ca-go