Short jokes
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Applesauce.
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.
Yo mama like a penny: two-faced, worthless, and in everybody’s pants.
Poopy loopy.
What are a pedophile"s shoes called?
Answer: WHITE VANS
What is a duck's favorite thing to smoke?
Quack.
Your uncle Jack is stuck on a horse. Will you help Jack off a horse?
Why did the Royal Wedding get more publicity than the SantaFe school shooting?
'Cause Royal Weddings don't happen every week.