Short jokes
My gun is like my house, used to be full, now it's empty.
My neighbor is like my marriage. They're both in the hole.
Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.
I can tell you an airplane joke, but it will probably fly over your head.
What do you call a sheep with no legs?
A cloud.
Hippity hoppity, Hiroshima, Nagasaki.
Did Jesus die a virgin?
Of course not, he got nailed before he died!
Why did the penguin pull out a tooth? It was Mexican.
Once, I ate a skunk. It was hard because I didn't get it down the whole way.
Ghanshyam.
What do you call a bunch of Aboriginals rolling down a hill?
Abo-lanche.
Ariana Grande
Lachlan
What movie do atheists watch for Christmas?
"Coincidence on 34th Street."
What is Batman's favorite food?
Justice.
What goes in soft and comes out hard?
Gum, you whore!
If you think no one cares about you, stop paying your taxes.
What did the make-a-wish kid say to the staff? "I don't wanna go to Disneyland, I wanna live longer."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Depression medicine and therapy.
GO AWAY!
Girls are like a bus; you might miss the first bus and catch the second bus.