Short jokes
Why did the chicken cross the playground?
To get to the other slide.
How are Stephen Hawking and Kaepernick so much alike? They both don’t stand for the national anthem.
The person who is reading this.
In life, it’s either yeet or get beat, and I clearly failed yeeting as a child, as my dad beat me.
Which brand of underwear does Thor wear?
Asgard.
What is a terrorist's DJ name?
Osama Spin Laden.
Dropping beats like the Twin Towers.
Sally has no arms. What did she get for Christmas? I don't know, she hasn't opened it yet.
Please, can someone comment on this post to explain what satisfaction you get from joking about such serious issues?
Jimmy: Your mom is gay.
Me: No, you.
Jimmy: I have no mom.
What did one statue say to another statue? "Hey! Is that you?"
My child is ungrateful. I got him a bike for Christmas and he didn't say thank you. No, he said, "Dad, I don't have any legs!"
Why do men have penises?
They gotta shut women up somehow.
How does the Eskimo make a house of cards?
Igloos it.
Why did Princess Diana cross the road?
She forgot to put her seatbelt on.
Why did the disabled kid keep getting bullied?
He couldn’t stand up for himself.
Me: Knock knock.
Some dude on the street: Who's there?
Me: Whowhowho.
Dude: Whowhowho who?
Whowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowhowho.
Q: What do you call a skeleton that goes to school but doesn't do any work?
A: Lazy bones.
My dad died lol.
How do you drown a blonde? You tape a mirror to the bottom of a 13-foot deep pool.
What do you call a smart egg? An egghead.
That was an egg-cellent joke!