Short jokes
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.
What camel has 3 humps?
...A pregnant one.
Me: (pointing up in the air) "Everybody listen up, this is a robbery!"
Girl: "Dude, this is a library."
Me: "Oh." (screwing on a silencer)
So I got these new shoes, except they were from a drug dealer.
Now I don't know what they were laced with, but I was trippin' all day.
There are 3 things wrong with this world.
1. Spelling
2. Maths.
Why did C.S.C. fail the trigonometry test?
Cosecant remember his own name.
Mwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!
What do you call it when a midget waves at you?
A microwave.
The waiter recommended the rug meal.
She said it was delicious, but it's a tassle to make.