Short jokes
What do Marie Antoinette and 2005-2012 Korn have in common?
They're both Headless.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
My parents told me I was born on the highway.
Apparently that’s where most accidents happen.
4chan
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
Have you heard of the restaurant Karma?
There is no menu because you only get what you deserve.
What did the bull say when he went to college?
Bison!
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
I like my women how I like my wine.
14 years aged and locked in a cellar.
My favorite Pixar film: Wall-E.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
My boyfriend entered a retarded contest, but they said no because they don’t allow perfectionists.
I asked my zombie boyfriend, "Does he have a brain?" Because he's stupid asf.
What do you call blue and orange at the bottom of a pool?
A baby with flat armbands!
There's a movie about constipation. It hasn't come out yet.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
Donald Trump has too much sand in his vagina.
The ocean didn't start smelling like fish until women started swimming in it.
Tushar’s Fortnite skills.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!