Short jokes
Why didn't Steven Hawkins get into fights?
'Cause he couldn't stand up for himself.
What do you call a cow with three legs?
My ex.
How do skeletons talk to each other? By the telebone.
What do you get when a dog that is actually a Weeto is caught in an earthquake?
Just like a chocolate milkshake, only crunchy!
What’s bad about swinging a dead baby above your head?
Stopping it with the shovel!
Q: Why do I like bone jokes so much?
A: Because they are humerus.
What was the last thing to run through Osama bin Laden's mind? Probably a bullet.
Why did Stephen Hawking's wife get annoyed with him?
He had an affair with Alexa.
Why is a cabbage green? Because it's in Greenland.
What did the American say to the Russian?
"Why are you always Russian?"
Why did Mia Khalifa become so famous?
Because she blew up.
How do you fit 100 babies in a bowl? A blender.
How do you get them out? Tortilla chips.
Q) What was the last pizza delivery to 9/11?
A) Two large planes.
What does a sponge do?
It talks to Patrick.
You want to hear some marriage jokes?
Don't worry, it's just a couple.
Applesauce.
"Amen, "Amen," "Amen."
Hail Satan.
............
Oh, sorry. I forgot which religion I was pretending to respect.
A girl walks up to her friend with sunglasses she missed very much.
She told her, "Hey, long time no see."
What's the difference between a businessman and a businesswoman? Wo!
I call my girlfriend .05 because she's a bag I blow into when I've had a few drinks.