Short jokes
Can we have a party in space?
First, we need to planet ;)
Get it? "Plan it" = planet.
A miscarriage always brings the child out in me.
What's black and sits on the bottom of the stairs to the cellar?
Steven Hawking where the experiments went wrong.
A dyslexic man walked into a bra.
"Immobile" means "I'm mobile" in my books.
A man crashed his new expensive car into a tree. He now knew how the Mercedes bends.
A new game the whole family can play...
Incest.
Where do pencils go on holiday?
Pencilvania! (Pennsylvania)
Why did the chicken cross the road?
It didn't, I hit it with my car 3 blocks down.
What do you call a joke without a punchline?
What's black and has wheels? Black wheels.
What's red and in a corner?
A baby with a razor blade.
What's green and in a corner?
The same baby three weeks later.
Did you hear about the new Exorcist movie? The Devil came to get the Priest out of the child.
What did Saturday say on the day before Friday?
I’m thursty (Thursday).
How did Steven Hawking die?
He lost internet connection.
Q: Why can't you run through a campground?
A: You can only ran, because it's past tents!
Yesterday, a clown held the door open for me. It was such a nice jester!
What did one bear reply to his bad pun?
"Bear with me!"
"Knock knock?"
"Mustache."
"I mustache you a question, but I'll shave it for later!"
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: Because chickens are mindless creatures and do not know any better.