Short jokes
Two lesbians adopted a cat. That night, the cat ran away. Why?
Because it heard one say, "I'm gonna eat that pussy."
What’s the difference between someone who is high on the spectrum [and] low on the spectrum? At least I can write this joke.
I'm psychicking your butt.
What do you call a policeman/farmer?
A farmer in blue!
What has more brains than Kurt Cobain?
The wall behind him.
How do you recover from prostate cancer surgery?
It’s all Depends!
What do you call a malignant cell in Paris?
A Royale with cancer.
How would you best describe prostate cancer?
Well, it is somewhere between a dick and an asshole!
What's the difference between a Demon and a Redhead?
The Demon at least has a trade offer.
What's Al-Qaeda's favorite sports team?
The New York Jets.
Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Lil Johnny looked a lil bonny, but then when he saw Tommy, he decided to bomb me.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.