Short jokes
Why is it so hard to make a party on Earth?
Because you need to planet.
A horse says to the other horse, "Are you hot?"
The other horse says, "Ahhhh, a house that talks!"
What did Saskia say to Brandon?
Saskia: "Can you rape me like you did Sydney?"
What's small, has no dad, and looks like Bugs Bunny?
Ben after he trips over the giant curb!
Who do you call someone that steals his brother's girlfriend and [is] disowned by his whole family? Brandon.
What's small, stupid, and has no dad?
Ben.
What has 2 legs, 2 arms, and an abusive father?
Aaron.
If a pregnant woman is under water, isn't she technically a submarine?
As he threw the mechanical pencil toward me, I knew that if I didn't move, I would be lead into serious trouble.
Did you hear about the blind prostitute?
Well, you gotta hand it to her.
What was David Bowie’s last hit?
Probably heroin.
What has 4 legs and 1 arm?
A pitbull in a children's play area.
What did the Canadian say when a guy shot his beaver?
"It is ok, I forgive you."
How old is uuuuuurrrr mom?
Five.
Cringe.... I know that was a crap joke... not even a joke.
If you're gonna razor yourself, you might as well have shaving cream.
Happiness.
If Canadians speak "English Eh?", do Americans speak "English B?"
What's Stephen Hawking's other favorite song?
Steve Winwood's "Just Roll with It Baby."
Once, there was a Minecraft child molester on the Minecraft Facebook. He asks a kid his age. The kid blocks him.
How did Rihanna know that Chris Brown was cheating on her? There was a different color of lipstick on his knuckles.