Short jokes
What did the skeleton say when the other skeleton lied to him?
"You can't lie to me! I can see right through you!"
There is a thin line between death and life!
You won't live to see it.....
The Cardiogram will!!
What do you call a bunch of people near each other?
The start of the Hollacoast.
What do skeletons say before they eat?
Bone appétit. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
Why didn't the sun go to college?
Because it already had a million degrees!
What is a spaceman’s favorite chocolate?
A Mars bar!
How do you tell a child they have cancer?
With a smile on your face.
"I really hate cats," my friend replied with, "You gotta be kitten me!"
Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?" Sarah waves her hand, "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!" Miss Rogers says, "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?" Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate." Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful." Sarah says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."
Joe, I wish you had never asked me to scout for a fresh tight end.
Why is Megan a down?
Because her last name is Downy.
Life is beautiful, but you are ugly.
What did the North tower say to the south tower? "Sorry, can't talk, got to catch a plane."
Q: Why don't pedophiles win races?
A: Because they like to come in a little behind.
People who torture others for making bad puns should be severely punished.
Me, myself, and I.
What do you call a snail without a shell?
Dead.
What was the last thing that went through JFK's mind? A bullet.
What’s red, slimy, and makes my wife scream? Two failed abortions!
What’s the coolest thing about having a 12 year old friend...
You get to meet Chris Hansen!