Short jokes
You know, when women clean their nails with chemicals, no one cares, but when Hitler tries to clean Poland with chemicals, everyone goes crazy.
I can't remember the last full conversation I had with my grandfather.
Good thing is, since he hit his head, he can't remember either.
What happened to the terrorist who tried to blow up a bus?
He burnt himself on the exhaust pipe.
What did the pizzas say to the pizza maker?
CHEESE-US!
"What happens when an Asian man runs into a brick wall?"
"A broken nose."
You are all going to be pun-ished!
Why are orphans bad at baseball?
Because they don’t know what a home is.
These aren't funny.
What did the white kid pull out of his bookbag?
A 9mm.
How do Asians name their kids?
They throw pots and pans down the stairs. (ching chong dong)
How does the sea say hello?
It WAVES you.
SEA what I did there?
I'm SHORE you saw it.
Don't be SALTY!
Stephen Hawking only died because he tried to install Windows 10, and his hard drive corrupted.
What does the cannibal eat who comes late for dinner?
The cold shoulder.
What did one gay guy say to the other when they were packing for a trip?
"Want me to pack your shit?"
Why did the farmer go to the strip club?
Because he was looking for his hoe.
How many gay guys can you fit on a barstool? 4... if you turn it upside down.
Why did the cheetah get disqualified?
Because he was a cheetah, duh!
What’s the difference between a prostitute and cancer?
A prostitute can beat my dick any day, but a prostitute can’t beat cancer.
What did the kid with no arms get for Christmas?
A pair of gloves!
Nah, I’m not that mean, he’s still trying to open his presents.
I just got a job at the prison library.
It has its prose and cons.