Short jokes
Where was Moses when the lights went out? - In the dark!
What was the chip doing at the hairdressers?
It was getting a crinkle cut.
My abortion.
So, two condoms walk by a gay bar. What does one condom say to the other? "Hey, wanna get 'shit-faced?'"
I was walking down the street and saw a kid slip on a plum.
I look to my right and died of laughter because I did the same!
My class is my house is quite. I suck a dick, now one cares.
A woman gets rid of polish with chemicals and no one bats an eye The Germans got rid of polish with chemicals and everyone lost their mind
What do you call a blonde who dyes her hair?
Artificial Intelligence.
How do you stop a baby from crawling around in a circle on the floor?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
Are you an egg, because you crack me up?
Are you a lightbulb, cuz you brighten up my day?
What's the difference between a cat and a banana? It's hard to peel a cat.
My will to live.
A sheep, a snake, and a drum fell off of a cliff.
Baa- Dum- Tsss!
I know it sounds cheesy, but I feel grate!
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
What's the best part about plowing your cousin?
- It makes your sister jealous.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
I’m reading a book about Anti-Gravity. It’s impossible to put down!