Short jokes
DO Not Touch - the worst thing you can read in Braille.
The other day I pushed a Chinese woman off the Golden Gate Bridge. I was Wong on so many levels.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite drug?
Battery acid.
Why did the girl not eat her dinner?
because she has an eating disorder.
What did the teacher say to the student?
Orange you glad to see me?
What's a tree's least favorite TV show? Chopped!
What do you get if you eat 3.14 cakes?
Fat, you get fat.
What? Were you expecting a pi joke?
What do you call a retarded person and a stroke victim in the same bed?
Mashed potatoes.
Stop making 9/11 jokes, my father died in a plane crash.
Best pilot in Saudi Arabia.
Somebody told me a chemistry joke. I thought it was sodium funny, I slapped my neon that one.
Did you hear about the band Manhole? I hear they're a metal cover.
God took away Stephen Hawking's privileges.
Why did Grampa pass out? Because of diabetes.
Only Fortnite players will get it.
Where do you get salt water? Salty Springs.
I got shot once. Now I'm holey.
Did you hear about the person who died? I would tell you about him, but he died.
What did the priest say to the other in the orphanage?
"Let us prey together."
How do you make any salad into a caesar salad?
Stab it twenty-three times.
Why does my cheating ex-wife wear a colostomy bag?
She lost her ass playing poker...
What's the difference between a school bus and my Dad's van?
School buses usually don't have screaming and crying children.