Short jokes
Hello.
Josh
I want to die peacefully in my sleep like my grandfather, but not like the other passengers in the car with him.
Need an arch? I Noah guy.
What's worse than funny condom fails?
Jake Paul.
Bin Laden promised 76 virgins to Al-Qaeda.
Instead, there was one 76-year-old virgin.
What was Stephen Hawking's favorite song?
Deja Vu.
What season is it when you're on a trampoline?
Spring time!
I was excited my teacher asked me for sex in exchange for a good grade, but then I realized I was homeschooled.
Why was the T-rex so angry? You would be angry too if your arms were too short to masturbate.
Hey, wanna hear an abortion joke? Never mind, I can't deliver it.
Jack: Hey Josh!
Josh: What?
Jack: Sex!
Josh: Huh?
Jack: SEX!!
Josh: I don't get it.
Jack: Exactly ;)
What's black, white, and red?
A nun that fell down an elevator shaft.
How do they execute paraplegics?
With the electric wheelchair.
Why was the blonde fired from the M&M factory?
For throwing out the W's.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
One's plastic and dangerous to play with; the other is to carry groceries.
Why was the boy crying?
He had a frog stapled to his face.
Why did the liberal cross the road?
(Ah, fuck this shit, I'm gonna kill myself!)
Tyson?
In Antarctica, there are ice dicks for ladies to hop onto.
Little do they know I've been waiting for this moment.