Short jokes
You know the song "Getting Drunk on a Plane"? It was written by the pilot of the Lingard Skinner pilot.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
Hey, you down to fuck?
No, I’m just down.
Letter A lmao xd 😂😂😂😂
My girlfriend's a porn star.
She'd kill me if she found out.
My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.
The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?
I don't know, what?
They are both purple except for the elephant.
What's the difference between Spongebob and a feminist?
A feminist has hair.
How do you know your baby is dead?
It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.
What do you do if you're ever attacked by a gang of clowns?
Go for the juggler!
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.
Incest is wincest.
Why are the twin towers mad?
They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.
Who would win?
The laws of the Catholic Church which have been effective for over 900 years,
Or one horny Henry?
Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...