Short jokes
So a woman walked into a bar. There was a man. She went up to him and said, "You're cute." He said, "Yeah, and you don't deserve equal rights."
Why did people bully Steven Hawking?
Because he couldn't stand up for himself.
Religion... That is all.
Tonight I'll be eating freshly grown pork cutlets with a fresh juicy amount of Poké Balls.
Do you get what I am trying to poke out?
Suicide is illegal because it's a crime to destroy government property.
Hogwarts is making a new condom. It's called "fetus deletus."
Why is 7 afraid of 6?
Because 7 is a vegetarian and 6 is a cannibal.
What is big, annoying, and full of blubber?
90% of America's population.
"Roses are red. Violets are red. My parents' bed is red. Oh shit, I set the house on fire!"
Why do tigers have stripes? They don't want to be spotted.
Why are ant colonies very healthy? Because they have lots of antibodies.
Cock cock, who's there? Nobody.
The person to make the first cannabinol cookbook had a wife and ate (eight) children.
I ate the last of my Egyptian food, and now I falafel. I don't know why I made that joke. Probably just becuscus.
What do you get when an American talks to an Aussie and a Kiwi?
Two Aussie.
What did the frog say to the pedophile?
My girlfriend broke up with me because I have a small dick. Too bad for her, because I give good sex.
What did the maxi pad say to the fart? "You are the wind beneath my wings."
I like my women how I like my wine: 12 years old and locked in a cellar.
If the broccoli said, "I look like a tree," then what did the mushroom say?
"I look like an umbrella."