Short jokes
Climb high, climb far,
Get high, get far.
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw spoons at her.
My father is like Houdini. When he heard his girlfriend was pregnant, he disappeared.
what do you call a drunken sailer?
arrested.
I once had an owl who I thought it would fly away.
Wanna hear a funny joke?
My life.
Bully: You're gonna die.
Me: Hurry up then.
My life.
If a wizard gets robbed by a muggle, has he been muggled?
A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?
"Spell ICUP."
A horse walks into a bar. Several people get up and leave, realizing the potential danger in the situation.
What was the last thing that crossed Princess Diana's mind?
The steering wheel.
What do you call a homeless orphan?
Homo-less.
Hey girl, is that an ass seen on TV, 'cause I'd buy it.
When was the only time you could see people base jump without a parachute?
2001/9/11.
What does a husband of a woman do when he is horny?
He goes on a business trip with 100 $1 dollar bills.
Bean.
I'm sorry m8.
Why did Timmy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.