Short jokes
What is a paedophile’s favourite symphony?
Amadeus Mozart’s special flute in A minor.
Papa: Johnny, Johnny.
Johnny: Yes, Papa?
Papa: Open wide.
Johnny: HAHAHA.
Papa: *unzips pants*
Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!
Knock it out, you poo-a-loo, go get your loo.
This is American politics that is not true.
Do you know why the Royal family can no longer play Monopoly?
How do you think Princess Diana died?
...Too soon?
What's the difference between cancer and a Nazi? Cancer doesn't discriminate.
Why was 6 so afraid of 7?
7 killed 6's parents.
Q: What is red, white, and blue and fun to watch?
A: A cop car rolling over after trying to catch someone for speeding.
What's the difference between a feminist and Kim Jong Un?
Kim Jong Un has rights.
Q: Why did the chicken cross the road?
A: It just felt like it.
Hi. I am Joe.
How did the hillbilly mother find out her daughter entered puberty? Her son's dick tasted funny.
Why don’t alligators grow up to 15 feet?
They only have 4.
What do you get when you have an annoying kid, a homicidal kid, and a suicidal kid in the same room? A happy ending.
Who is king of the insects?
The Monarch.
Q: What did the skeleton say when he proposed to his girlfriend?
A: Will you marrow me?
Person you don't know, my name.
Why did the plum put sugar under its pillow?
So it could have sweet dreams.
What fruit always feels depressed?
A blueberry.
I broke up with my deaf girlfriend because she never listened to me.