Short jokes
What do you say to a woman with two black eyes?
Nothing, you've told her twice.
At weddings, old people tell kids, "You're next!"
At funerals, little kids tell old people, "You're next!"
What did Yoda say to Luke during his wedding ceremony?
"May divorce be with you."
Why did the koala fall out of the tree?
Because it died.
Why did Princess Di cross the road?
Momentum.
"Don’t be dumb, make sure she’s numb."
- Bill Cosby
What's the worst thing about eating a vegetable?
The wheelchair.
Stan JoJo Siwa.
How did I escape from Iraq, Iran?
What do you call a dog with no legs?
...You can't call it anything. It won't come to you.
Don’t you just wanna hang around, like Chester?
Okay, so basically I'm monky.
My life, your life, and your sister is a slut.
When you’re hunting at a forest resort and you shoot a deer, but then you remember that there are no deer at the forest resort.
I like my women like I like my steak...
Bloody.
You are about to hear the funniest joke ever.
My life.
Why did Cinderella get kicked out of Disneyland?
Because she sat on Pinocchio's face and said, "Lie, bastard, lie!"
Why do pedos like to lose races? Because they like to cum on a little behind.
What’s the difference between prison and concentration camps?
At least you don’t die when you shower.
What was the knight's name that sat at the round table?
Circumference.