Fatty and Skinny were in a bed.
Fatty rolled over, and Skinny was dead.
Short Jokes
I don't know if this is a joke or a question, but:
If killing yourself sends you to hell, where does sitting in the waiting room get you?
Want to know why some astronomers are gay?
It’s because they want to be in Uranus.
What did the cancer cell say to its neighbor?
"Mind if I join you?"
Lil Johnny looked a lil bonny, but then when he saw Tommy, he decided to bomb me.
Do you know who didn't graduate high school this year?
The Parkland kids.
Why did God make pigs before politicians?
He just needed some practice.
Q: Why was the leper hockey game cancelled?
A: There was a face off in the corner.
Having sex in an elevator is wrong on so many levels.
Mama Mia's pizzeria and abortion clinic. Your loss is our sauce.
What do chairs spend on the most?
Chair-ity.
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That camping trip was in-tents.
How can you compare a gay prostitute to Pacman?
They both get paid to eat 200 balls!
What did the condom say when he came out of a gay guy's asshole?
He said, "Fuck this shit!"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
9/11.
9/11 who?
You said that you would never forget!
What does a kid with cancer and a house fly have in common?
A life expectancy of 15-25 days.
What type of file does it take to turn a 4 mm hole to a 44 mm hole?
A pedophile.
What do you call it when a Mexican and a pedophile fight?
Alien vs Predator.
A guy walks into a gun store and everything is half off. He looks at his son and says, "I didn't know back to school sales started yet."
