Short jokes
What do you call a digital hamburger? Processed meat.
My reverse psychologist told me I didn't have it in me to make a recovery.
I was arrested for eating too much crack on accident. How?
My sister came into my room shoving her ass in my face.
What's a car's favorite place to hang out?
A CARnival!
His favorite drink was his dribble.
Q: How many ADHD kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
A: Wanna go ride a bike?
Yesterday I went to a lightbulb party, and it was lit.
What do shemales and barns have in common?
Cocks.
How many cops does it take to change a lightbulb?
None, because they beat the room for being dark, then arrest the room for being broke.
A cow is at his friend's house for a sleepover party. Sadly, all of the beds are taken. Where does the cow sleep?
On the COWch (couch).
What is black and white and is dead?
My Chemical Romance.
Why is the penis so light?
Because even thots can lift them.
What was the doctor's diagnosis on a dinosaur with a low sex drive? Teraerectile dysfunction.
Q: Why did the baby cross the road?
A: It wasn't in its car seat.
Why do people eat bananas? Because it's a-peeling!
Today was a bad day. There was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy!
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Water.
Water who?
Water you waiting for, just let me in!
What's the most between my uncle and aunt?
My aunt waited until I was 14 to come on my face.
If you are American in the living room, what are you in the bathroom?
Euro-peein'.
Braille is not that hard to learn, you just got to have a feel for it.