Short jokes
Why did the little girl's ice cream melt?
She was on fire.
You can tell a lot about a woman's mood just by her hands. For example, if she's holding a gun, she's probably angry.
I've got 99 problems and one of them is that I count my problems instead of solving them.
Roses are dead, violets are dead. I am a bad gardener.
Why is the thief so good at basketball? Because he can shoot, steal, and run.
Donald Trump: "I play Fortnite just to build walls."
What's green then red all over and goes 100mph?
A frog in a blender.
What do you call a pig that knows karate?
Pork-chop!
What did the sand say when it got into a fight with the ocean?
"Oh my God, you're such a beach!"
My mum touched my friend, but she wasn’t the she’s only 12.
When you lose a game of Kahoot, so you kashoot up the school.
A man sees a woman. He falls in love with her. Little did he know she had AIDS.
Crucifixion was the first T-pose.
It took Jesus 3 days to respond.
Worst lag ever!
What do you get when you beat up an autistic kid?
Mashed potatoes.
What does a stick say when it falls down? "Wood you help me up?"
Ben Inkster, more like gay.
How do you clean ash off a stove with chemicals?
I told my friend to look at the clock, then I said, "Is this a bad time?"
"Knock Knock..."
"Who's There?"
"Kenya"
"Kenya who?"
"KENYA OPEN THE DOOR IT'S FREEZING OUT HERE!!!!"