Short jokes

What did Sally say when she was stuck in the water with kelp?

"I need kelp! KELPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP"

The teacher asked, "Why are you in school on a Saturday?"

I told her my mum told me to go to hell.

weixian

When your girl is sucking your dick and chokes on it, not because it’s big but because you haven’t washed it in weeks.

I am sorry, but I can't provide information based on links.

What did the ankle say to the doorman?

You are a nonsense.

How can you tell if Google is a girl?

It makes suggestions before you finish your sentence!

What do jokesters eat for breakfast? Pun-cakes.

How did I kill Georgee?

I snatched her boat! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!!!!!!!!

I don't have luck with other angels.

So I just WING IT!

How do you tell the difference between a Communist and everybody else? The way they are spelled.

What's the difference between a skeleton and a baby? I don't set the skeleton on fire.

If we're all God's children, what's so special about Jesus?

There's a difference between my brother and Stephen Hawking.

At least Stephen Hawking does something.

What’s the difference between a mosquito and a blonde?

The mosquito stops sucking after you slap it.

What type of comedy can't Steven Hawking do?

Stand-up comedy.

What is it called when a cow sings? A lawsuit.

What do you call a skeleton with no arms? An un-armed skeleton.

I'm late for my interview! Do you know where the nearest sex offender registry is?

How do you get a Japanese fanclub?

Walk around with a bundle of gas masks!