Short jokes

What did the elephant say to the naked man?

"It's nice, but can it pick up peanuts?"

A skeleton goes sky diving. Doesn't come back in one piece.

My Butterfingers slipped.

Two gay kids made their version of the Jack and Jill nursery rhyme.

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pair of lattes.

This is not a joke.

What does it take to paint a wall red?

Kurt Cobain and his shotgun.

Wow, this group is a joke, like my life.

I like tacos more than you like tacos.

Who likes more tacos?

Mee! said the taco.

I don't know why everyone cares so much about 3D printers. I've had a Canon printer for years.

So Paul Walker made a rap cover. It is called "Straight Out of Windshield."

I'm better than you in every single way... I even have an extra chromosome.

I was going to kill myself, but in the end, it doesn't even matter.

If a tree had a mouth, wood it bark?

I was really rooting to tell that one.

Why doesn't Kermit the frog get married?

He doesn't like commitment.

I was in a terrorist a famous terrorist group. No, not the Taliban. We called ourselves the Talabam.

In America, planes hit the Twin Towers. In Soviet Russia, Twin Towers hit planes.

There was an enemy with a machine gun.

My commander said, "Un-arm the enemy."

So I ran over to the enemy and chopped his arms off.

This site.

Elephant

What did the orphans do when the bombs drop?

They said, "Allahu Akbar."