Short jokes

Short jokes

Why does my dad hate me? Really, please tell me, I'm tired of the constant abuse and pain.

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  • The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.

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  • My friend dared me to steal my other friend's watch. I tried, but failed. He really got me, dare.

    The fattest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumeference. He acquired his size from too much pi.

    What's the difference between a grape and an elephant?

    I don't know, what?

    They are both purple except for the elephant.

    How do you know your baby is dead?

    It stopped screaming after not feeding the bastard for a month.

    To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)

    What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.

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  • Why are the twin towers mad?

    They ordered pepperoni pizza, but all they got was plain.

    Man, don't you hate it when you hit a speed bump by an orphanage but then realize there's no speed bumps here...

    Papa: Johnny, Johnny.

    Johnny: Yes, Papa?

    Papa: Open wide.

    Johnny: HAHAHA.

    Papa: *unzips pants*

    Johnny: *crying* No, Papa!

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