Short jokes
What do you call a person who tries to get you on a dating website... a Brodie.
You have been a bad boy, so now I will have to pun-ish you!
Q: How did we learn cats don't land on their feet?
A: We asked Mufasa from the Lion King.
What's better than a pile of dead babies?
One that's alive in the middle that has to eat its way out.
What did the ball say to the other ball? "You're baller!"
A mosquito with a Mario hat on flies on you saying, "It's-a me, Malario!"
What is a school shooter's favorite animal?
A Desert Eagle.
What do you call a green camel?
My parents left me.
Why can't you play poker in the jungle? Because there are too many cheetahs!
What happens when you cross a pig and karate?
A pork chop!
Fortnite is like America... At one time it was good and free. Now it's neither.
Why can't Stephen Hawking go to heaven?
'Cause he'd walk up the stairs!
What do you call a cross between a priest and a child?
The cross shoved up the priest’s ass as he ‘downward dogs’ the kid.
Don't tell a Titanic joke, or you'll sink to a whole new low.
What does Stephen Hawking press after he's had a hard day?
F5
To my best friend, my brother is like a spider. She chose to kill him straight away. That's why she is my friend, after all!
Why was the egg runny?
Because he'd just had sex with Jimmy Saville.
Dolls have wigs made of mohair, cancer patients have wigs of no hair.
Most people smother babies with love.
I smother them with pillows.
Hey, wanna hear a construction joke?
- Sure.
Oh sorry, I'm still working on it :-]