Short jokes
Why couldn’t anyone see the bird?
Because it was in da skies.
What bird doesn’t need a comb?
Bald eagles.
If 4 birds are sitting on a fence and one gets shot, how many are still on the fence?
None, the rest fly away.
Why do people drink Starbucks? Because it's too hot to handle!
What is sprinkled around the Pokémon floor? Oh right. Ash's ashes.
What's better than swinging a baby around on a rope?
Stopping it with a shovel.
What does Earl Bradley and an Xbox have in common?
They both get turned on by children.
Cyber bully: Your mom giey.
Me: nO U
Person 1: How the freak did you get in my house?!?! I locked the door!!!
Person 2: But I'm your mom... I have a key. You dumbass.
I don't know why my blind kid is crying, but I think it could be the tacks I put on the couch.
My dad is like Hurricane Katrina. I haven’t seen either since 2005.
My credit card is more declined than the love from my dad.
Jesus created the T-pose first.
What do you call an idiotic cow?
A mis-steak!
I found Nemo.
He was tasty.
I am cool.
Hahahahahahaha!
A wife asks her husband: Am I pretty or ugly?
The husband answers her: Pretty.
The wife responds: Thank yo-
The husband interrupts her: Pretty ugly!
RIP K.
When they have a party, they're racist. When they hang out with Ys, they're mean.
Who reads the fastest?
The pilot of the plane who hit one of the twin towers. He took out 83 stories in one go.
What's the best part about beating up an orphan?
They can't tell their parents.