Short jokes
My friend once said my opinion didn't matter. I said, "Why did you call me a female?"
I started a band called 999 megabytes... we still haven't gotten a gig.
Q: Where do smart hot dogs end up?
A: The honor roll.
What did the panther say at the poker party?
I'd be lion if I said I was a cheetah.
I tried out some puns to make people laugh, but no pun in ten did.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Your mom.
Your mom who?
O shit, my mom's home! Honey, get the f*** out of my house!
Some people don't appreciate what I do for a living.
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What's the POINT in stabbing people?
HAHAHA
What happens when you bring a paedophile to a baby's birthday party?
You will have even more birthday parties to go to.
Your Da.
Why do you go to the bank?
To get money.
When do you run from the bank?
When the cops come.
When do you go at stop and stop when done?
I don't know, I'm not a pedophile.
Why don't dinosaurs lay eggs?
Because they're EGGstinct!
Why is a tree brown?
If you are thinking about this, you are racist.
Which category is glory in?
Cats.
Skidaddle skidoodle, your dick is now a noodle!
I'd make 9/11 jokes, but they'd just crash and burn.
Your dad's penis was chopped off at the age of 2.
A bear is like your best mate, Harry.
If you stab them, they die from a stab wound.
Knock knock!
Who’s there?
Dad!
Dad who?
Silence.