Short jokes
Do you need an ark?
Because I Noah guy!
I learned that a strangler was targeting me.
All I could think was, "You’ve got to be choking me!"
I have a fish that can breakdance!
Only for 20 seconds though, and only once.
How do you know cat's don't always land on their feet?
Mufasa.
"Rehab's for quitters, and I don't give up."
Wanna hear a skeleton joke?
Sorry, I don't have the guts to tell it.
Robyn Smith
Lewis Clow
How did a blonde commit suicide?
She jumped from the basement window.
Why couldn’t wheelchair Harry Potter go to Hogwarts?
They had no wheelchair ramps or elevators...
The Virgin Mary wasn't a virgin; she was a prostitute. God raped her.
Guess what? Chicken butt.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Anal.
I get more care packages than Africa.
Why does Hitler deserve heaven? Because he killed Hitler.
School is a lot like boot camp. The only difference is that you don't have to get deployed to get shot at.
Did Jesus die virgin? Nope, he got nailed before he died.
My dad told me to do what he did best, so I left.
I will always remember my dad's last words...
Oh wait, I never knew them.
What do world hunger and a Mercedes have in common?
Princess Diana couldn't stop both of them.
How do you escape a French prison?
Yell angrily in German!