Short jokes
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
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What do you call a smurf with no arms or legs?
A paintball.
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
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What do you call an Italian dog?
A labra-noodle.
What do you call a dog that fell into the Porta-Potty?
A Corgi Potty.
Have you walked into Steven Hawking's house yet?
Yeah, neither has he.
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Bra eat E.T.?
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.