Short jokes
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.
Why do Indians marry cows? Because they bathe in milk.
I have an EpiPen.
My friend gave it to me when he was dying.
It seemed really important to him that I have it.
Top ten dog breeds:
10. Dogs
9. Are
8. Beautiful
7. Animals
6. And
5. Judgement
3. Is
2. Cruel
1. Dachshund
Do you think you can solve a riddle about my penis because I don't think you can...
It's too hard.
What’s the difference between a penis and a golf ball?
A penis always goes in the hole.
Was ist der Lieblingssport eines Deutschen?
gamer
I'm so poor that I had to rob a food bank for a loaf of bread.
Q: Why did the duck cross the road?
A: To get to the other side.