Short jokes
Why do toy bears have small eyes? Because they were made in China.
Someone came to me and said, "Your dad is gay." I just said, "Wait. You know where my dad is? Please tell me!"
Roses are red, my name is Dan, I have a gun, GET IN THE VAN!
I want to die.
Following your dreams is good... especially since you won’t have to worry about them putting any restraining orders against you.
I'd tell a joke about my abusive dad, but I only remember the punch line.
Hey, fatboy, why are you so damn fat?
Because every time I f*** your mom, she gives me a cookie.
What did Mother Mary say when God farted? Jesus Christ, you stink!
I saw a cyclist in the road today, so I ran over him and he said in a robotic voice, "SHUTTING DOWN!"
Did you hear the rumors about butter?
Never mind—you shouldn't spread them.
RAID HIM https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCZEAEVyTsAdnjawrdCkDu-A/videos
Bust it open for Jesus!
There's two types of emo people:
1. People that cut side to side.
2. And people that cut up and down.
The most efficient is up and down.
Keep calm and curry on!
I went to the shops yesterday. I bought roast chicken, eggs, and duck. The cashier read $45.99. It was an egg-cellent price!
What time is it when an elephant sits on your fence?
Time to get a new fence!
How do you know a vampire's sick?
If he's coffin (coughing?)
Canada has free health care, here is a link to some Canada Facts! https://www.1stcontact.com/blog/20-interesting-facts-about-canada
A police officer said to a belly button, "You're under a-vest."
What brakes but never falls, and what falls but never brakes?
Answer: Night falls and dawn brakes.