Short jokes
You're like a vacuum cleaner. Why? Because you suck.
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Why didn't the skeleton play football?
His heart wasn't in it!
Bra eat E.T.?
You know the only way to win is you have to actually planet.
We are gonna crush you in the try not to laugh.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!
What happens when you get a virus-related sickness? It goes viral on Twitter!
Time heals all wounds.
Unless you have AIDS, when time kills you slowly and painfully.
When I grow up, I wanna be like Lil Peep... Dead.
If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong.
Thing to say during sex, "grab his dick and twist it!"
Your mama is so stupid that when she heard drinks were on the house, she grabbed a ladder.
Why is Santa's sack so big?
He only comes once a year.
You know the drill, but do you know the hammer? Hah, nailed that one.
But I also think I screwed it up.
Hey, you wanna hear something funny?
An atom makes up everything. Half of this site contains this joke. Don't trust the internet, kids.
What is the best thing about being buried alive or burning to death?
No funeral costs.
I want to die like my grandpa, with a blindfold and a wet sponge on his head.