Short jokes
That one person who can never bring a smile to your face...
Until you push them down 3 flights of stairs.
What do you call a vegan cow?
A vegan cow. :/
OR
A regular cow. 🐄🙌
Why do they put barcodes on the ships in Norway?
Why?
So when they come into port, they can Scan-de-navian.
Who are you?
Yourself.
Your dick is as flat as your grandma's heart rate.
What is a cow's favorite water sport?
Ca-MOO-ing!
What is the difference in having a granny fetish and necrophilia? A few weeks.
"Ching chong, drop the bomb!"
What did the kid with cancer say? "Can-I see my mom one more time?"
Only a genius can say this.
I am stupid.
Bin Laden was the hide and seek champion for 10 years, 2001-2011.
My girlfriend is like Toys R Us.
She does not exist.
What’s red and cries?
A skinned baby in a bag of salt.
Age is just a number,
Jail is just a room.
What is Julius Caesar’s favorite food?
Roman noodles.
I fucked a chick named Macy, but she had dyslexia.
So I ended up doing the YMCA.
Kid: "I wish I could be like Batman!"
Genie: "Wish granted!"
When the kid gets home, both of his parents are dead.
The reason I'm gay is because I'm scared of getting cooties.
One of the students reported a school shooting.
That fucking snitch...
Why is my dick like a balloon?
The more you blow it, the bigger it gets.