Short jokes
Where does a pianist go on vacation?
The Florida Keys.
A Mexican was doing a magic trick. He said, "uno, dos," then disappeared without a trace.
I asked the doctor doing my prostate exam where I should put my pants. "Next to mine" was not the answer I was expecting.
How is an orphan like a boomerang?
They always come back!
Ur mum homo.
What is scarier than a pile of dead babies?
The bottom one ate its way out!
Legally Blonde.
Blondies.
Trump.
Get it because Trump is a joke hahaha, I am sooo bad!
Nevermind, it's retarded.
Americans prefer houses with basements. In fact, they're best cellars!
A baby seal walks into a club...
Spell IHOP, now say 'ness' at the end... 😂 ...I ate your penis!
I work at a tire shop.
I'm pretty tired.
Why do emo people want to be called scene now? The only thing I've seen from them is their suicide rate climbing.
Have you ever heard Stephen Hawking sing?
"Head, shoulders, wheels and frames, wheels and frames!"
What is a cow's favorite dance move?
The milkshake.
Everything disappears in the Bermuda Triangle.
Except my depression.
Make a wish kid: I want to meet Mac Miller.
Make a wish staff: You will soon, chief.
Cancer is so easy to beat. I'm already at stage four!