Short jokes
Why did Sally cross the road?
She didn’t wear her seatbelt.
What do you call a homosexual in a coma?
A fruit and a vegetable!
Dad: Uh, yeah!
Son: Mom, Dad, what are you doing!
Parents: Sex!
Son: What?
Parents: Look, you can spectate!
So Santa fell down the chimney, but it was a lit chimney...his name's no longer Santa. It's Crisp Cringle. Pls send help :)
Someone booted Stephen Hawking offline. Maybe next time he will stand for the pledge/anthem.
What did the soldier say when he sees a terrorist in a wheelchair?
RC-XD incoming.
Roses are red... Orphans are blue... I killed the priest so I could rape them too.
Levi and Andrew are fat.
Why does the environmentalist pimp have his hoes fuck bareback?
He wants to keep condoms out of landfills.
How do you know when your wife is cheating on you?
She comes home with sparkles on her face.
If the red house is on the left, and the blue house on the right, where is the white house?
In Washington D.C.
What do you call someone who kisses primary school kids?
Joshua Metcalfe
Communist jokes suck... unless everyone gets them.
In communist Russia there is no discrimination. White, black, African, American, British and Asian. They all go to Gulag eventually.
What do you call a nasty ass boy?
Sam Caithness.
What's an emo person's least favorite game? Cut The Rope.
Why did God make men?
Because you can't teach a vibrator how to mow the lawn...
What's the difference between a prostitute and a trash bag?
There's a limit to how much trash goes in the trash bag.
What do you get when you throw a pebble in the ocean?
A wet pebble.
Why do vegetarians give good head?
Because they’re used to eating nuts.