Short jokes
What was the one test that Steven Hawking couldn't pass?
reCAPTCHA
When earthquakes hit, coffins become maracas underground.
What do you call an epileptic in a swimming pool? A dishwasher.
My name is Gunter.
Gunter Gunter is dead.
Gunter Gunter stuffed my cat's head. ;D
My name is Gunter.
Why did Sally get to go to Hawaii for free?
She washed up on the beach.
I asked my mum to be in the Paralympics, and she said I had to eat more vegetables.
Why can't blondes make ice?
They forgot the recipe.
Why were the people during 9/11 mad? They ordered 2 sausage pizzas, but instead they got 2 plane pizzas.
Wife: "Honey, I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi, Pregnant, I'm dad."
Wife: "No, you're not."
Is it all right when there is nothing left?
AIDS?
Two old people sitting on a bench. One turns to the other and says, "My butt fell asleep." The other says, "Yep, I heard it snore a couple of times."
Why do animals have playing cards with foxes?
Because they’re a bunch of cheetahs!
Not all cat puns are purr-fect; some just have their claws.
Why did the kid drop his ice cream cone?
He got ran over by a bus.
- What did the skeleton say to his friend?
- Actually... TIBIA honest, I don't know how to complete this joke...
What's a queen's favorite drink? Royal-tea!
I told my friend to fly a plane,
But he threw a ramp off a roof.
What do orphans need in order to mail letters?
Food stamps.