Short jokes
Why did the biology teacher break up with the physics teacher?
Because there was no chemistry...
What do cigarettes and hamsters have in common?
They can both be dangerous when you stick them in your mouth and light them on fire.
What's the difference between a blonde and a refrigerator?
Refrigerators don't queef when you pull your meat out.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Olive.
Olive who?
Olive you a lot!
Genie: You can only have 3 wishes.
Man: I wish for more wishes.
Genie: You can’t wish for more wishes.
Man: I wish I could.
Genie: ......
What do you do when an orphan takes a family photo?
A selfie.
What do you call an orphan taking a family photo?
A selfie.
This shit is disgusting but funny.
In 2011, Stephen Hawking said God didn’t exist.
In 2018, God said Stephen Hawking didn’t exist. xx 😂😂
My ex misses me, good thing she'll never hit me.
What makes a software developer feel rich?
Their cache.
Why is there no toilet paper at KFC?
Because it's finger lickin' good!
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
I am counting my fingers and get nine. Why?
When I die, I want to be shot out of a cannon.
And into a children's birthday party.
What's the difference between 20 and 14?
9 to 10 years.
When you're going 80 mph and hit a speed bump,
Then the speed bump starts screaming.
What is a female gamer's favorite part of the controller?
The joystick.
The moment when you tell an illegal immigrant to go home and he walks to the jail cell and closes it.
What did the girl say when she ran through the door?
Ouch.