Short jokes
How did the British lose the War of 1812?
They were out-Britshed.
How did Stephen Hawking die?
Somebody threw an EMP at him.
What instrument do a pair of sheep play? The two-baaaa.
What did the cookie say to the milk?
What’s up duud?
What did the Indian cheese say to the other cheese?
"Tu cheese badi hai mast mast!"
Why was Timmy so sad? Because his dad stapled a frog to his forehead.
Why were parts of the Soviet Union that had more industry than agriculture occupied during WW2?
They couldn't beet the Nazis.
What did the cheese say to itself in the mirror?
"Haloomi."
Two people were on a boat. They were afloat on water!
Shrek yells at Donkey. Fiona yells, "Stop yelling at the ass!"
Add me on Fortnite: Bujjj Boy.
What did the first skeleton say to the second skeleton?
You thought his puns were bad, wait till you sea mine!
What sayd the man to the woman??
Go to the kitchen lol.
My wife told me to give her 8 inches, so I had to have sex with her 4 times and punch her in the nose.
What do you call a chair?
I don't know. What?
Oh, hi, Chairity!
Why do they tell actors to "break a leg"?
Because every play has a cast.
You know what should give up and stay dead?
Fortnite.
"I was lost in the woods yesterday."
"I was in some sticky situation..."
At the back of Abraham Lincoln's mind, next to the bullet hole, he was thinking about how slavery is wrong.