Short jokes
How many dead babies does it take to clean my refrigerator?.....it gotta be more than 4 because the fridge is still dirty.
What’s the difference between a bleeding child and a bleeding chimpanzee?
They're both crazy and now dead.
To you, Iron Man may seem cool or awesome, but to me, he is pretty ironic.
Dumb.
Why did the grandmother put wheels on her rocking chair?
... she likes to rock and roll lol.
Question: What did the sun say to the little star?
Answer: Are you my SUN?
Jake had sex and broke her hymen, guess he’s Jake the ripper.
Me: Hey Joe, updog.
Joe: What?
Me: Updog.
Joe: What's updog?
*Facepalms*
Me: Lol in the corner.
America: I'm going to build a wall.
Nazi: Been there.
Soviet Union: Done that.
People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
What's the difference between you and Hitler? At least he knows how to use an oven.
John: What's 9+10?
Jake: 21
I submitted 10 puns to see if they'd make this list.
But no pun in ten did.
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
Why hasn't my dad come back? No seriously, I'm not joking.
What do you call skeletons having sex?
When the relationship is dead, but you're still fucking.
"You gave me the same sweater as last year."
"You s w e a t e r believe it."
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
What do Ellen DeGeneres and homeless people have in common?
They don’t cook because they love eating out.
Wife: Honey, I love you.
Husband: I love you all.
Wife: Awww.......... Wait WHAT?!?!??!