Short jokes
What does Bill Cosby and someone eating at McDonald's have in common?
They're both mc lovin' what they're eating.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
Q: How do you make a fire?
A: Oil and dead babies.
How many time does it take to cook a baby in a microwave?
I don’t know, I can’t count while masturbating.
Why do you never play a game of cards in the jungle? Because there are cheetahs!
Me: Opens the window to get some fresh air.
Everyone else on the plane: 😟...😱
If a kid refused to go to bed, does that make them guilty of resisting a rest?
What do you call a mountain of kittens?
A meowtain.
Are you a mirror, because I see myself in you?
I asked my friend if they wanted to hear a joke about sodium, and they said, "Na."
Shoot.
A cop pulled me over and shouted, "Papers!" I shouted, "Scissors!" and drove off.
What is a redneck's favorite color?
Blue.
Are you an egg? 'Cause your jokes ain't funny.
Why did people take Stephen Hawking's to the hospital when we should have took him to Curry's PC World?
What kind of pizzas did they last order at the World Trade Center?
Two large planes!
Why is Stephen Hawking so square headed? Because he forgot to shut Minecraft down!
It was not a hijack, it was Stephen Hawking.
What's the difference between homework and a hooker? They both start with an "H", but we all know which one we would like to do.
Looks like the gene pool in your family is about three inches deep.