Short jokes
Dad: "I'm giving all your toys to the orphanage."
Kid: "Why are you doing that?"
Dad: "So you won't get bored there."
Q: What will we give to a sick lemon?
A: Lemon aid.
Nutted in my shoes, now my kids are taking a walk.
Nutted in her braces, now my kids are behind bars.
Konan was having sex on the couch, thinking how he'd come so far.
Q. Why do Skeletons work hard?
A. 'Cause they want the BONEus.
I've never worn my gay sweater, it hasn't come out of the closet yet.
What do you call a magician that makes beer? Brew-dini?
My ex-wife was smoking pot with Snow White, when the 7 dwarfs saw them they sang...
"Look at those high Ho's! Hiiiiiiii Hoooooo'sssss!!!!"
Subscribe to Sean Alvarez!
Why was I angry on my plane? Because I read these stupid 9/11 jokes.
"Muffin Man, Muffin Man, he's gonna rape you in his van."
Craig's name is now Craig William Duncan "Froo."
Yo mama so fat that when she sat on the couch, the couch got destroyed.
Scree.
Molly Burke and her mom were on a walk. Molly walked into a bar; her mom laughed and walked under it.
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Your adopted.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.