Short jokes
I sat down to eat some ice cream. The next moment, I screamed!
Why did the chili blush?
Because it was so hot!
How does a skeleton kill a bug?
They SOCKET!
I left a chunk of ice outside during summer. That was the first time I heard icescream.
What did the ferret say after his family was questioned by police?
It's none of your business!
What's the worst part about getting old?
Going to pull up the wrinkles in your socks, just to find out you're not wearing socks!
What did the wind say to the palm tree? "Hold onto your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job."
What country did Indians invent?
Curry-a.
On which side does the chicken have the most feathers?
On the outer side. 😂😂
omae wa mou shindeiru.
Nani?
How do you pet a psychopath's cat?
You get it out of the microwave.
What problems might a blind child run into?
A wall.
Types "I'm not a robot" on computer.
Son, we are geniuses!
Why don't ants get sick?
Because they have anty-bodies.
What did the airplane say to the paper plane? Why do you look like a wimp?
What does the Peanut Butter Baby say?
"Ah!"
Arms.
"Actions speak louder than words."
This doesn't apply to Stephen Hawking, however...
Imagine calling a dragon "fucking dewi."
My grandpa asked me to pass him his phone, but I passed him a calculator. He couldn't tell the difference.