Short jokes
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Follow me on Instagram: @Lavderi
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Howard Stern rules, b*tches!
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
Trump's cabinet are like panties. Some crawl up your butt, some snap under pressure, and some actually cover your butt when you need them.
What do you get when you eat a hamburger?
Mustard gas.
I am the joke.
My bro said food was cool. So I threw a piece of cool chicken at him. For some reason, he hit me, OOF.