Short jokes
What has two arms and two legs but can’t walk or run?
Stephen Hawking.
Why did Stephen Hawking go out in the rain?
Anyone here a spoon?
Stephen Hawking listens to the song "I Am Still Standing" and cries to himself.
What is Forrest Gump's password?
1forest1
F*ck me!
Black people run fast.
Is depression an emotion or a state of mind? I call it a lifestyle.
I wake up in the morning and I suck my teeth.
Why do you want me?
Cus u like me...
What do you mean?
You love me.
No.
Look down.
How do you turn your dog into a watchdog?
Get it a Rolex!
A clown held a door open for me. I thought it was a nice jester.
What is the difference between eating a baby and a doughnut?
Babies are healthier.
Horror movies don't scare me. 5 missed calls from my mum scares me.
Why did the skeleton eat tacos?
Because he was hungry.
I never wanted to believe that my dad was stealing from his job as a road worker.
But when I got home, all the signs were there.
Why can’t you trust an atom?
Because they make up literally everything.
(This isn't really a joke btw anyway.) SpongeBob, me boy, ye ruptured me intestines with that massive c*ck of yours, agahgahagahagahagah!
Why do priests like kids in wheelchairs? Because they can’t run.
People generalize others too much.