Short jokes
What did the math teacher write on his party invitations?
Be there or B2.
Why did Chad date the 9 yr old?
Because Stellas hot.
Why did the pillow cross the road?
Because his cousin's name was Koshin, and he didn't want to live anymore.
Did you hear about Fridgetair
Kelvinator?
Why does it take three women with PMS to screw in a lightbulb?
IT JUST DOES!!!!
What do you do when you hear your wife squirming around in the back yard?
Reload... chhchhhh.
What do you do during a shooting? Why, join in, of course...
Me: Cobain!
Friend: No, dude, it's Kobe.
Me: Why? Cobain didn't miss his last shot.
A Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, "Make me one with everything."
What do you call a lazy piece of meat?
A meatloaf.
What do you call an iPhone put into a smoothie maker?--An Apple smoothie.
Have you heard of the man who got all his left side chopped off?
He was all right.
How do you call on a mail man who is carrying rotten fruit?
Come post!
Why did Helen Keller burn her hands?
Because she was trying to read the waffle iron.
Your nan's bald.
What's the number 1 cause of pedophilia?
Sexy kids.
Poopies in my undies.
What does a skeleton call their great-grandparents?
A fossil.
Why did the man sit on his porch and bark at the postman when he came?
Because his dog had a sore throat!
What's black and white and hard as nails? A nun on speed!