New Yorker jokes
Why do New Yorkers get what Spider-Man is saying?
Because he always makes spider-sense.
Why do many New Yorkers like watching Spider-Man?
Because he’s always on the webcast.
Why are New Yorkers so bad at Clash Royale? Because they already lost two towers!
What can read 105 stories in ten seconds?
New Yorkers.
Why are New Yorkers scared of airplanes?
Why can't New Yorkers play chess?
Because they lost their towers.
Why are New Yorkers so good at reading?
Some of them went through 100 stories in 10 seconds.
Q: Who are the fastest readers in the world?
A: New Yorkers. Some of them go through 110 stories in 5 seconds.
What’s New York’s favorite game?
2001 flight simulator.
Look, I'm innocent. I was just going on vacation in NY, but my co-pilot said: "Hit it with your best shot."
What is the New York fireman's favorite song?
It's raining men.
A man from France, a man from Britain, and a man from New York are on an expedition to the Amazon Forest. After a while, they get lost. As they are walking, suddenly the bushes jump up into the air and men with spears are there. One man says, "Hey, you're in our sacred land. So what we are going to do is skin you and then use your flesh to make canoes. But we aren't that crazy, so we will let you choose how you die."
The man from France said, "Bring me the poison."
The man from Britain said, "Bring me the gun."
And the man from New York said, "Bring me a fork."
The guy was confused with the fork but still brought the items and gave them to them.
The guy from France said, "For France!" And drank the poison and died.
The man from Britain said, "Long live the queen!" And shot himself and died.
And the man from New York started stabbing himself with the fork and said, "Make a canoe out of this, you fuckers!"
Sometimes you just need to take a drive through the city to clear your head.
-JFK