Short jokes
What's black and white and red all over?
A police brutality case.
Hey, watch me eat this African sandwich.
*Takes huge bite of air.*
Your adopted.
Mom: Daddy, stop!
Me: No!
Mom: Ok, I just wanted you to do it like your father.
Is Stephen Hawking under warranty? If so, can I bring him back to Currys PC World?
If I had a dime for every time someone has told me to kill myself, I'd be a millionaire.
I brought my cousin to an arcade and I gave her $5 to go play a game, but she tugged my joystick too hard.
What did one butt cheek say to the other? “Between you and me, it stinks in here!”
Why did the cloud apply to stormtrooper training school?
He mist.
Why did the Chicken cross the road? You: Why? To get to the little b***h's house!
Knock knock! You: Who's there? The chicken!
Why is a nun called a nun?
'Cause they ain't supposed to get none ;)
Dirty Joke: A boy fell in the mud.
Clean Joke: He took a bath with bubbles.
Dirty Joke: Bubbles was the girl next door.
A man walks into a bar. The corrections officer says, "Usually we open the cell before you go in, now stop bleeding on my floor!"
What do tampons and your sister have in common?
Police arrested a man who dropped his phone in the ocean. The was charged with a salt in battery.
How many fingers does the Dragonborn have?
Four fingers and a Thu'um.
I asked a Japanese chef how to make a good bowl of ramen, he said "Let me show you."
I don't have time to write this joke.
Girls are whores.
What do you call a flying skunk?
A smelicopter.