Short jokes
My friend asked me to round up here 37 sheep.
I said “40.”
El, can you grab me that bow?
Yesterday, a 5-year-old dyslexic boy almost saved his mother from drowning, but he kept dialing 119...
I told my Mum, "Will you remember me in 6 minutes, 6 hours, 6 years?"
She said, "Yes."
"Knock knock."
I said, "My mum, who's there? You didn’t remember me!"
Why did Harry fall out of the boat?
Because he's hooked!
Man, all these jokes suck. They're horri-puning.
What do you call a circus show? A school shooter.
Once I ate a table... it was food consuming.
What's thick, long, hard, and has cum in it?
Cucumber. Lol. I love the way you think.
What do you call a dog without legs?
Nothing, it won't come either way.
My conversion therapy done worked. Now I only sleep with my sister and not my brother.
What was the last thing that went through the minds of the 9/11 jumpers?
Their ankles.
Lololol get it? They fell from like 100 feet.
Do you know Warrior Cats?
I heard Hawkfrost is cold.
What is Jesus's favorite exercise?
Cross Fit.
When you’re having the best sex in your life and your grandma says, “I’m not dead!”
What do you call a man shopping? A half-grown carton of cheese.
Hahahahahahhah my nan died :)
A policeman just knocked on my door and told me my dogs are chasing people on bikes. That’s ridiculous! My dogs don’t even own bikes!
How does a cow introduce his wife?
Meet Patty.
My nickname should be night light... because kids turn me on...