People wonder why our generation grew up so sarcastic.
"Hey, how do I look?"
"With your eyes, Joe."
I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took a dick in the ass.
My life is a lot like a game of Black Jack.
I always hit on 16, then get busted.
What did the mustard say to the ketchup at the race?
What do fire and people have in common?
They will both eventually die out.
So, a guy walked into the store and said to the worker: "Is this free?"
Then the worker said: "Nope, 'cause I'm on sale!"