What part of a vegetable can't you eat?
The wheelchair.
Short Jokes
Q. What is the biggest lie in the entire universe?
A. “I have read and agree to the Terms & Conditions.”
I am a sheep.
How do you plan a party in space? You have to planet.
What's the difference between a boy and girl? A boy always carries an average 5in "do not enter" sign.
When the police caught him stealing the batteries, he got immediately charged!
What’s the only type of batteries that they use in prisons? Duracell.
Why did the baseball player go to jail?
Because he stole first base.
"Hay, can you help me to her on..." No, that is gross. I meant my car.
Why did I shoot my dog?
Because it pissed me offff! Ahhhhhahahahahahahahahaha! 👌👌😎
Yesnt.
I was at a milk store and ordered some milk.
They brought it over but spilled it on me.
I said that was a udder failure!
Q: What do you get when you cross a cow and a smurf?
A: Blue cheese.
"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"John."
"John who?"
John broke down into tears as his Mother's Alzheimer's had gotten progressively worse.
Your dad must be a mailman.
Mozart doesn't care if Bach is better than him; at least he puts a lot of emotion [into his music and] he makes people happy.
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Why do brides wear white?
So they match the kitchen appliances.
Post Malone was in the hospital, but he is BETTER NOW.
Patient: “Doctor, I get heartburn every time I eat birthday cake.”
Doctor: “Next time, take off the candles.”
