Short jokes
Why does the heart listen to music a lot?
Because it loves feeling the beat.
I wanna tell you guys a joke about a broken pencil...
But it’s quite pointless.
Why are school shooting jokes so funny?
Answer: The bullets hit your funny bone!
Why do people laugh at mountains?
Because they're HILLarious!
Once my friend was saying something dumb, and I was like, "I Campbell-eve you just said that."
SEX
To the man in the wheelchair who stole my camouflage jacket, "You can hide but you can't run."
What do you call a person with cancer?
A ghost with a body.
If Bugs Bunny had Down Syndrome:
"Meeeehh, what's up, Downs?"
What do you call a field of masturbating cattle?
Beef strokin' off.
Doctor, can I please have a new butt? My old one has a hole and a crack in it.
An orphan died. No one cared, why? Who is supposed to spread the word? His parents.
I did 9/11 here's proof https://youtu.be/BVH73TonuG8
Where do orphans shop? Home Depot.
What does a news anchor cow say for the weekly broadcast?
"Here's the beef of the week!"
I asked a French man if he played videogames, and he said, "Wii!"
A Mexican magician tells the audience he will disappear on the count of 3. He says, "uno, dos..." *poof* ... He disappeared without a tres.
What's wrong with my friend?
He's called Dobby Coleman and has a massive jaw.
Imagine being named Colby and you burn yourself.
When the school shooter throws a smoke bomb into the classroom, and the autistic kid thinks it's a dance party.