Short jokes
So, me and my friend dressed as dead people for Halloween. The only difference in the costume was that he was actually dead.
You know what’s impossible?
Steven Walking.
My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. Here we go again.
So I was watching TV, right? Then I f***ing got banged in the eye with either a remote or metal tongs. "WTF?"
Light travels faster than sound. That's why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Whoever invented the knock-knock joke should get a "no bell" prize.
We are anonymous because none of us are as cruel as all of us.
I was going to tell you a joke about a big cat, but I would be lion.
...... fuck the turtles...... THE END
My friend has a dog who looks like cocoa. Her name is Cocoa!
An apple walked into the clinic.
The doctor asked what his favorite color was.
The apple said "red." :)
When your friend asks why you don't smile, then you look at them and realize no one is there because you have no friends. #my life
If there are 12 fish and 6 drown, how many are left?
12, because fish don't drown.
What month has 28 days?
All of them.
What do you call two skeletons dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
What do you get when skeletons are dancing in a tin can?
Noise!
Did you hear the joke about the butter?
What is it?
I can’t tell you, you’ll spread it.
What do you get when someone named Victoria falls? A Victoria Falls!
Jeffy: I need a new butt. My old one has a crack in it.
Is buttcheeks one word?
Or should I spread them?