Short jokes
Say "Mike Wizowski" fast to a teenager and I will get you $100000000000.
"Suck my sugar, honey, it's very sweet and juicy."
What has 10 wheels and flies? A garbage truck.
When you're sitting in class and the quiet kid yells, "Lovely day, isn't it?" ... and you see a Glock shape in his pocket.
What is black and white?
Probably Mexican history.
One day a cow ate a fish.
What came out the other side?
A dead fish.
If you don't like the video in 10 seconds, James Charles will sleep with you tonight.
What did the skeleton say when he fell on his funny bone? He laughed!
I love working with animals, especially when I get to hear their cries of help.
What did the pirate say to Argon?
Ar!
I named my dog "5 miles" so when I walk him, I can say I walked 5 miles.
Random guy: I ran over 5 miles.
Where did Johnny go during the bombing?
Everywhere.
What does a deaf person do when they hear people scream? I don't know; it's not like they're gonna hear it anyway.
What time is it? It's time for lunch.
*Quoted by Bubble Guppies*
What did the cow say to your mom?
Hello.
If two vegetarians get into a fight, is it still called a beef?
Follow me on Instagram: @Lavderi
"Knock knock!"
"Who's there?"
"Baby!"
"Baby who?"
"Do you want to eat this baby that I have prepared?"
"No thanks, I already ate."
Q. What's the difference between people and a toilet?
A. Neither does R. Kelly.
Howard Stern rules, b*tches!