Short jokes
"Sanderson, fire a warning shot."
"Uhh sir, this is an M32 rotary grenade launcher."
"Ah potato-potato, just pull the trigger."
Why couldn't the astronaut put the helmet on his head?
Because he didn't have enough space.
What has two tires and no engine? A magic house 🏡
Spanish is difficult. When my mom gives me food, she says "toma," and that's drink in English, so I always drink my food.
An alien goes to Area 51, but I wonder why he doesn't go to your house?
What is the world's greatest invention? The ball gag, do you know why? Honestly, officer, I never heard her say no.
Potters are dead xoxoxoxoxox.
What did the fish get on his math test?
A sea plus.
"When Republicans do politics, it's a crime. But when Democrats commit crimes, it's politics." ---Tyler Nixon
The butt quack one.
Why does Trump "not" wear glasses? Because he's got 20/20 vision!
Happy new year! 🥳
RIP boiled water.
You will be mist.
What has two names and one big home?
A person.
Why do people say "cheese" in a camera?
Because they were using the computer.
What time is it when dogs get hurt?
Time to take your dog to the vet!
What is a plane ✈️ that can not fly?
A fake one ☝️
What kind of house 🏠 can fly? A magic house 🏠!
What name do you get if you mix the names Chris and Marisa?
Then you get the name Chrisa.
What is your summer name? Hot.