Short jokes
Bully: "Nobody loves you."
Me: "Aww, it must have hurt when your mom told you that."
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Algorithm.
Algorithm who?
Think Algorithm to the store.
Gf: "You are a drug."
Bf: "Why, cause you are addicted to me?"
Gf: "No, because you are number one most wanted in Montana."
You wanna know why I love trains?
They end my suffering.
Why do they call them apartments when they are together?
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
I went to the bank to apply for a Personal Loan.
Then they found out I wanted to be a rapper, so they didn't want to Post M"loan."
What do squirrels and men have in common?
They always want a nut.
I named my iPod "Titanic." It's syncing now.
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What did the fat girl say to the donut?
"I'm going to eat you tonight..."
My math teacher walked by and asked me, "What is that?"
I said, "Paper."
She said, "Really?"
I said, "Yeah, do you need glasses?"
You're so fat you're the reason they made tread "meals".
You're so ugly we can't have neighbors.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
Ancestry.com is spelled with an “I” in Alabama.
Straight people ask why gays have such a good fashion sense. Baby, we didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing.